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INTAKE, in the past seven days. 1 entries in today's log. 832 assessments on file. 5 subjects admitted in 24 hours.

The Xenomorph
assessed 5 out of 10
1,000,000 Views on Your Latest Post
assessed 0 out of 10
Call of Duty: Zombies (Original)
assessed 10 out of 10
Toyota Prius
assessed 0 out of 10
Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I Have a Dream" Speech
assessed 4 out of 10
Juul
assessed 2 out of 10
Sharktopus
assessed 1 out of 10
The Gold Rush
assessed 0 out of 10
Fruit by the Foot
assessed 4 out of 10
An Air Fryer
assessed 10 out of 10
Rising Gas Prices
assessed 0 out of 10
Troll Face
assessed 0 out of 10
Gamora
assessed 3 out of 10
Pumpkin Spice Latte
assessed 0 out of 10
WOULD YOUGOON?
GLOBAL INSTITUTE OF GOONABILITY RESEARCH
VOL. 1 · CONTINUOUS SERIES · EST. 2026
RESEARCH SUBJECT #77072AWAITING FIRST ASSESSMENT
Helium Balloons
Plate 1 — Photo: Tirachard Kumtanom, Pexels License, via Pexels

Household

Helium Balloons

Party balloon. Lighter than air.

RESEARCH NOTES

Latex or foil balloons filled with helium, which float for hours to weeks depending on the material before settling to the ceiling and then the floor. Helium itself is a finite resource recovered from natural gas.

Would You Goon?

0 = ABSOLUTELY NOT · 10 = UNCONDITIONALLY

Plate credit Photo: Tirachard Kumtanom, Pexels License, via Pexels · Source · License